Life Update: I Had A Baby!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? You may have noticed my absence from the world of blogging in recent months and it was partly deliberate. I’ve been able to dabble here and there and I am super active on Instagram but on the whole, I’ve not been blogging since the beginning of February. The reason for this?
I had a baby. Yep, my beautiful little baby boy arrived in February and I finally have some time to introduce him to my amazing LoveRosiee community!

Introducing Jack…

Jack was due in the middle of February and I officially shut my laptop around the 5th of the month. I did originally have plans to blog and be present when he arrived but the realities of having a little one are very different to what I’d ever imagined!

Jack was born via emergency c section, ten days past his due date following a grueling back to back labour with some complications.

If you’ve visited some of my pregnancy content, you’ll know that his gender was a surprise to us and I can honestly say that one of the happiest moments of my life was seeing whether he was a girl or a boy!

Seeing him for the first time, hearing his first cry and finally being able to hold him were the most surreal moments ever!

My Little Boy

Jack is the most gorgeous boy – he is the image of his Daddy and has so many of his mannerisms already.

He was born at a good, average weight, with a full head of black hair and ten fingers and ten toes.

I always dreamt of being a boy mum and Jack was the name we’d talked about over and over in the ten years we’d been together.

The moment he was born and shown to us above the blue curtain we both said “hello Jack”. We hadn’t named him while he was in my tummy because we had no clue whether he was a girl or boy or what he’d look like. But when we saw his little face, we knew he was Jack!

The Early Days of Motherhood

When they say that nothing can prepare you for bringing your baby home for the first time, having a newborn and being a new mummy – they are 100% right!

Following his birth, I struggled to heal with lack of rest and I genuinely found the newborn bit stressful and not at all relaxing!

Recovering from an emergency c section is no joke – physically and mentally.

My milk came in and the emotions were wild – I could go from laughing to crying in a split second. I had a hungry baby on my hands and trying to master breastfeeding while also trying to get enough rest and enjoy time with my baby was tough.

I loved being at home with my baby but desperately wanted to get out and about. It was early March before I could move fully and comfortably enough to master the car or pushing the pushchair on my own.

My bump disappeared quite quickly but was replaced by a jiggly belly, a sore c section scar and lots and lots of swelling.

On the whole, I was a newborn too. I didn’t know what I was doing and was trying to get to know my baby as each day and long night passed.

Six Weeks In

My six-week check with the GP was the first time I left Jack – he was with his Dad and my doctors surgery is a quick walk from my house. I felt comfortable leaving him for half an hour and relished the time to listen to my podcast and hold a conversation with the doctor completely uninterrupted!

Someone told me that by six weeks things would click into place. And, they were right.

All of a sudden it was like the fog had lifted, a light had been switched on and I understood a bit more about motherhood and having a baby.

I never felt really down or depressed just helpless. I was jealous of my old life while also desperately in love with my newborn. I wanted some of my old freedom back while also wanting to hole up at home and never leave.

Motherhood, especially in those early days when you’re in the trenches, is a world of juxtapositions. Wanting to be alone for five minutes but not wanting to leave your little one; being lonely but never really being on your own.

Six weeks came and went, Jack started smiling and motherhood relaxed upon my shoulders – and I relaxed into it a bit more.

Baby Milestones & Mum Guilt

For me, Mum guilt crept in within days. Constant fears and worries of “am I doing this right?” “am I selfish” “is this ok?” flooded my brain constantly.

As Jack became more settled, we mastered breastfeeding and my husband went back to work, I started to feel silly about my initial worries. The best place Jack could be was with me. The best thing I could do for him was try to be happy.

Happy mum, happy baby soon became my motto!

I’ve worked in a school setting before (though quite early in my career) but I feel it’s helped me understand that all babies are different and there’s no cookie butter or one size fits all for milestones. I am, however, a playful Mummy!

We play all day long, I chatter away to him about everything going on, narrating my day and gossiping with his stuffed toys. Popping him on the floor for independent play was done quit early on and as soon as my incision healed, we’d be playing together on the floor for as long as possible.

Jack has surprised me – he is cool as a cucumber, just like his Daddy! He takes absolutely everything in his stride and smiles while doing it.

He mastered rolling quite quickly and then realised that if Mummy was around, he wouldn’t need to roll as she’d get everything for him.

He smiled really early (it WASN’T wind, ok) and laughed quite early – music to my ears, let me tell you!

I’m not worried or looking at other Mamas and babies to see how or where Jack should be. He’s his own little person and he’s exactly where he needs to be. He makes me proud every day!

Jack & Mummy, 6 Month In

I can’t believe that we are now 6 months into this journey and Jack is already six months old.

Being a Mummy now feels like second nature to me, we do it over and over again and Jack is a pleasure to be around.

He is the smiliest boy ever, has the biggest personality, has two teeth and can sit up unaided.

I love being his Mummy. I don’t love every single second of it, it’s still really tough, a constant push and pull battle and I worry myself about things like going back to work. But I try my hardest to make the most of every second we have together playing, going out for walks and exploring.

I sometimes miss Rosie before he arrived and her ability to be free. However, I often can’t remember life without him. He’s given me purpose, so much love and laugh out loud moments every single day!

Being A Mummy & The Future of LoveRosiee

I am still a blogger and honestly, I’ve never felt more passionate and creative. I have less time right now and I don’t want to take a second away from Jack but LoveRosiee will continue and it will incorperate more parenting and Mummy focused content as well as my usual beauty, lifestyle and flatlays.

Thank you so much for all the kind messages and check ins.

It’s an exciting time to be a creative and I can’t wait to have you along on the next phase of this journey with me.

LoveRosiee
xxx

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