Partnering with Emma’s Diary has helped me reach so many prospective parents, newborn mums and toddler handlers. Working with this platform is one of my proudest writing achievements and I love having the opportunity to tackle controversial subjects. This blog is is an answer to a question I get asked frequently as a mother who works at home with their baby. As mothers, can we really have it all?
Before I became a mum, I really didn’t give this question much thought. I watched fellow women of around my age boss motherhood, hold down jobs, and share happy family snaps on their social media. I didn’t think twice about the juggle or the guilt.
When I became pregnant, I was determined to show my worth and prove my reliability at work and in my career. I took my maternity leave at the latest possible time and promised my clients that I would be back sooner than they’d expect.
Then, I gave birth to my wonderful little boy, and the world tipped on its axis.
Having It All & Maternity Leave
Naively, before Jack was born, I remember saying to my husband: “Don’t let me count down the days until I go back to work after maternity leave”.
Then, he was born.
Days blurred into each other, nights went unslept, and work was quickly a distant memory.
In fact, I didn’t think about my career, my job, or my competitors once in the first few months. Simply because I didn’t have the capacity to.
Motherhood engrossed me, pulled me in and became my entire universe.
Relaxing into motherhood took a few months – what with the sleep regressions, mastitis, C-Section recovery, and sleepless nights. But once we got into a flow, I started to feel happier more and more.
Even on the low maternity pay us mamas get, we enjoyed days out, lunches with friends, garden parties and more. We adjusted to the new sleep(less) schedules and our house being a mess.
I felt like I really had it all:
- The gorgeous baby
- The happy husband
- Happiness in the tiny and sometimes fleeting moments
We were content. It felt great.
Going Back To Work
The first few months were tough but I loved having him with me all the time.
When he started crawling just before Christmas, I felt overwhelmed with new challenges and an increasing schedule.
Then it mellowed again.
But, life with a very active toddler and a very busy work schedule fluctuates. Some days I’d feel like I was doing it all – smashing life. Other days when the house was a mess, my meetings were unhelpful and my projects lay incomplete, I’d feel like I was rubbish at it all.
Having It All
Every single day as a mum is different. And, every day as a working mum is different, too.
Even now, when Jack goes out to soft plays without me and has the best time, I don’t feel like I’m doing enough.
As mothers, what we want becomes less of a priority and the happiness and wellbeing of our little ones becomes everything.
I am not ashamed to admit that I often put myself at the bottom of the pile to ensure that my little boy gets what he needs.
But, here’s my hot take on having it all as a mother:
What is your *hot take* on Motherhood?
Do you have it all?
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People Also Ask…
How to do it all as a mom?
If you’re a new mother, you might be worried about how you’ll balance a career and raising your child. If being a stay-at-home mom is a full-time job, what happens when you’re a working mom? Is it better for you to stay at home and let go of your career aspirations? Is it selfish to try to have it all?
Let’s start with the basics: you’re never selfish for wanting both to balance work and family And the fact that you’re thinking about these questions means you love and care for your child. You’re embarking on a life-changing journey, so it’s good that you’re spending time planning your route. Finding the right balance is difficult, but it’s absolutely possible.
What is depleted mother syndrome?
Mom burnout sometimes called depleted mother syndrome, is the feeling of mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion, depersonalization, and lack of fulfilment caused by intense child care demands. Burnout is the result of too much stress and a lack of resources for coping with it.
Is it normal to feel overwhelmed as a mother?
Feeling overwhelmed is a familiar feeling for every mom, and a recent study found 13% of you are experiencing extreme burnout.